Merry Christmas!

Yesterday was Christmas!
It was a good day! Kids woke up to find santa had left a big Ninjago Lego set for them all to share. Then we went to my moms and spent the day. Matt slept most of it... But that was ok. I got to talk and play games. So crazy... My baby is 2 1/2... So I didn't have to spend half my day nursing a baby or any of that this year. In fact, Erik even agreed to plays games with Phoebe. Was a pretty good day!
We got home around 7:45 to let the dog out and put kids to bed. Kids were pretty much asleep or quiet by 9:30. So Matt and I watched Guardians of the galaxy 2.
All in all... Not a bad Christmas.

Battle of the blues...

When winter weather sets in... I get blue... While I love the search for the perfect gift, and the smell of pine. The very real fact that sickness is everywhere is almost paralyzing. I fear germs everywhere. The cold weather makes my joints hurt. And I become... Blue. Depressed. Overwhelmed. I battle it daily. This year is no exception. I feel like I'm it gets worse each year... Which freaks me out! Getting together with people only feeds the fear... Fear of catching something from them, or fear of giving them some bug that we didn't even know we had.
Vance has been diagnosed with epilepsy...and so has added doctor appointments... Increasing my fear. He has started on medication... Which is to be given twice a day... Which is so stressful. I feel so consumed with my own fear and frustrations that I have little left over. Where is the joy? How do I deal with all this and still show Joy?!! I have eternal hope and joy... I know that. But I'm talking daily joy. How do I stay joyful in the sickness and the stress and pain?